19 5 / 2014
Moose knuckle Mondays
are brought by bikers,
a trail of bulges
in compression shorts,
to the form mamas gave them,
imagination on the back of brains
as testicles sway with pedal pushing
to the temperature limit of sperm
fry out gametes cycling
through cell life cycles
quicker than gay guys can gawk
at bike lanes that bring joy
with morning bicyclists.
30 4 / 2014
Hey guys I haven’t been locked away for my comments on how the special Olympics is misleading in its title. My computer died on me and the manufacturer is shipping me a new one. I’ll be back in some corporate allocated business days. In the meantime feel free to share and like my website Jonathanflike.com. Keep the faith and remember Raptor Jesus loves you.
14 4 / 2014
the-awkward-pentecostal said: I adore your poetry. Although i love writing poetry, its very rare i read it. The symbolism goes over my head to easily. But your poems is what poetry should be. Real, deep, and funny without having to look too far for the meaning or the joke.
Thanks so much, that’s what I have been aiming for :D
14 4 / 2014
Let’s stay together for the plasma
because at $4.25 an unleaded gallon,
you can’t afford to hate me,
I can’t afford another smart fridge,
and we can’t afford life’s minimum payments solo.
What I did with Megan
and what you did with Tommy,
the Starbucks guy
the rounded high school sweetheart
the neighbor’s twenty-something
the brown man with the rusted lawnmower—
that’s all water under the outdoor Jacuzzi.
I’ll take the guestroom
(though I never liked the peppermint Ralph Lauren sheets)
since it has the rainforest noise machine
we bought at Sharper Image
in hopes sleeping bodies wouldn’t hear
what you now do with the king
of double-shots and caramel pumps.
It’ll be fun
like the college days all over again
when you went to Saint Mary’s all-girl’s school
and you’d distract proctor Turner,
I’d sneak in,
and the morning would light
already beaming faces.
we’d be sneaking amongst ourselves.
You’ll come into the kitchen,
wearing his oversized shirt
and Megan will wear mine
while isolation is reserved
for the marble kitchen island
as you sip from a mug with “cattitude,”
and I pretend the newspaper
is more relevant than cnn.com.
We can still entertain.
You won’t need to cut coupons,
and friends will laud us
for our progressive bohemian ways.
Bohemian is in this season,
and I know how you like the stuff