04 9 / 2014

20 5 / 2014

"The best part about you coming to the concert was the $50 you gave me for the ticket."

"The best part about you coming to the concert was the $50 you gave me for the ticket."

19 5 / 2014

Moose knuckle Mondays

are brought by bikers,

a trail of bulges

in compression shorts,

compressing crotches

to the form mamas gave them,

imagination on the back of brains

as testicles sway with pedal pushing

to the temperature limit of sperm

fry out gametes cycling

through cell life cycles

quicker than gay guys can gawk

at bike lanes that bring joy

with morning bicyclists.

-Jonathan Flike

30 4 / 2014

Hey guys I haven’t been locked away for my comments on how the special Olympics is misleading in its title. My computer died on me and the manufacturer is shipping me a new one. I’ll be back in some corporate allocated business days. In the meantime feel free to share and like my website Jonathanflike.com. Keep the faith and remember Raptor Jesus loves you.

-Jonathan Flike

17 4 / 2014

15 4 / 2014

14 4 / 2014

the-awkward-pentecostal said: I adore your poetry. Although i love writing poetry, its very rare i read it. The symbolism goes over my head to easily. But your poems is what poetry should be. Real, deep, and funny without having to look too far for the meaning or the joke.

Thanks so much, that’s what I have been aiming for :D

14 4 / 2014

Let’s stay together for the plasma

because at $4.25 an unleaded gallon,

you can’t afford to hate me,

I can’t afford another smart fridge,

and we can’t afford life’s minimum payments solo.

What I did with Megan

and what you did with Tommy,

the Starbucks guy

the rounded high school sweetheart

the neighbor’s twenty-something

the brown man with the rusted lawnmower—

that’s all water under the outdoor Jacuzzi.

I’ll  take the guestroom

(though I never liked the peppermint Ralph Lauren sheets)

since it has the rainforest noise machine

we bought at Sharper Image

in hopes sleeping bodies wouldn’t hear

what you now do with the king

of double-shots and caramel pumps.

It’ll be fun

like the college days all over again

when you went to Saint Mary’s all-girl’s school

and you’d distract proctor Turner,

I’d sneak in,

and the morning would light

already beaming faces.

Yet—

we’d be sneaking amongst ourselves.

You’ll come into the kitchen,

wearing his oversized shirt

and Megan will wear mine

while isolation is reserved

for the marble kitchen island

as you sip from a mug with “cattitude,”

and I pretend the newspaper

is more relevant than cnn.com.

We can still entertain.

You won’t need to cut coupons,

and friends will laud us

for our progressive bohemian ways.

Bohemian is in this season,

and I know how you like the stuff

that’s in

then out

then in

then out.

-Jonathan Flike

07 4 / 2014

03 4 / 2014